Hi
Lately I have been thinking a lot....
Do I have real friends ? Are they true to me ? or they are only making use of me ?
Come to think of it, I still have a few sincere friends whom we have known each other for more than 20 years.
I have this small group of friends - we always travel together - at least once a year since a few years back. I tell you - there is 1 very troublesome person.
To say it nicely, she is cost-effective. To be crude she is stingy.
She always ask me to do the booking (air ticket, hotel) if we travel free and easy.
Its ok I do not mind to do it though sometimes I grumble behind their back.
I am really sick of this lately.
btw, in the 1st quarter of the year, we have planned to travel to a nearby country. For this trip one of the kakis has helped to book the air ticket through one of them few months ago. I helped to book the accomodation more than a month ago.
Today I heard another 'kaki' wanted to join us (last minute). She has bought the air ticket. I was asked to book an extra bed for her.
Do they know its troublesome to do it.
These people really take things for granted ! Hmm !
Really 'jin cha'.
I really do not know how to go about it. Thought we could just add in when we checked in the first day. I decided to do it via the 'middle-man' i.e. the Agent but found out its not so straight forward.
Aiyah, these people really give me so much trouble (I am already overwhelmed with official work since 2 months ago and I have to do all these nitty gritty stuff).
Just my luck to be their so-called friend. ??
What to do (this is the golden word of one of my former colleagues).
I have been telling myself - this probably will be the last DIY trip I go with them.
No more of this nuisance - I have had enough - enough stress - enough work .......
I really regre.....tted joining them for this trip. Sigh.
Sometimes I just feel that I have acted in a rush - did not consider carefully and thoroughly.
Saturday 30 July 2016
Friday 29 July 2016
Taking for granted
Sigh...
I was very moody today especially the whole afternoon after lunch time.
My so-called 'friend' was in very good mood today, talking to just anyone she came across in the office. I felt 'neglected' by her. I was jealous that she talked so much to other people.
Just a week ago, she was very moody and didn't talk much to me. I felt 'neglected' too.
I thought I have 'stepped on her nerves' and later I realised that it got nothing to do with me.
Just that she was moody and has somehow vented her frustrations on me.
Yea, poor me and I 'suffered it in silent'.
I hardly talked this whole afternoon and did not joined in the conversation when she was talking to my other colleagues.
I was very unhappy with her (don't know why). Maybe I am jealous or sensitive that she was talking a lot to my other colleagues and not me. That's why I feel moody.
I was disappointed with myself, with her and feeling frustrated.
Thinking back, she once thanked me for being her friend. (Maybe its just for that moment and not forever). Its just my wishful thinking to think we are 'friends forever'.
Maybe all along I have misunderstand her goodness to me. I don't know.
On the way home after work, I was thinking and thinking about what has happened to me today. After some thoughts, I realised that I have been taking things for granted, eg. thinking that I am a 'good friend' to her and not just a normal friend.
Always thought we are treating each other as friends but I maybe wrong...
btw, everyone in the office knows she has one best friend (and she mentioned this afternoon that both of them are going out this weekend). She did not mentioned anything of it to me beforehand.
I have taken her for granted.
I was thinking, perhaps to her, I am just a friend 'in need' and not indeed......Sad :(
How come it takes me so long to realise this !
Well its not too late (at least I realised it).
I always thought we are friends or good friends seeing that we always have lunch together and sometimes she would give me sound advice and I might have taken her for granted as a 'friend' and not a 'colleague'.
I have taken things for granted or rather taken her for granted and that's why what happened today has made me feeling moody and unhappy (thinking that I am always her 'friend').
In short, I was 'miserable'.
Yes, I should not have taken things for granted.
All along, I might have been 自 作 多 情。
From now on, I must learn to 'let go' of all unnecessary emotions and not stick to my stubborn thoughts.
Like someone said 'to live in the present'.
Life is fleeting and I still have so much to read, to learn and to do.
Must make good use of my time and not spent it in feeling moody.
Who cares after all...nobody but myself.
Sigh.
I was very moody today especially the whole afternoon after lunch time.
My so-called 'friend' was in very good mood today, talking to just anyone she came across in the office. I felt 'neglected' by her. I was jealous that she talked so much to other people.
Just a week ago, she was very moody and didn't talk much to me. I felt 'neglected' too.
I thought I have 'stepped on her nerves' and later I realised that it got nothing to do with me.
Just that she was moody and has somehow vented her frustrations on me.
Yea, poor me and I 'suffered it in silent'.
I hardly talked this whole afternoon and did not joined in the conversation when she was talking to my other colleagues.
I was very unhappy with her (don't know why). Maybe I am jealous or sensitive that she was talking a lot to my other colleagues and not me. That's why I feel moody.
I was disappointed with myself, with her and feeling frustrated.
Thinking back, she once thanked me for being her friend. (Maybe its just for that moment and not forever). Its just my wishful thinking to think we are 'friends forever'.
Maybe all along I have misunderstand her goodness to me. I don't know.
On the way home after work, I was thinking and thinking about what has happened to me today. After some thoughts, I realised that I have been taking things for granted, eg. thinking that I am a 'good friend' to her and not just a normal friend.
Always thought we are treating each other as friends but I maybe wrong...
btw, everyone in the office knows she has one best friend (and she mentioned this afternoon that both of them are going out this weekend). She did not mentioned anything of it to me beforehand.
I have taken her for granted.
I was thinking, perhaps to her, I am just a friend 'in need' and not indeed......Sad :(
How come it takes me so long to realise this !
Well its not too late (at least I realised it).
I always thought we are friends or good friends seeing that we always have lunch together and sometimes she would give me sound advice and I might have taken her for granted as a 'friend' and not a 'colleague'.
I have taken things for granted or rather taken her for granted and that's why what happened today has made me feeling moody and unhappy (thinking that I am always her 'friend').
In short, I was 'miserable'.
Yes, I should not have taken things for granted.
All along, I might have been 自 作 多 情。
From now on, I must learn to 'let go' of all unnecessary emotions and not stick to my stubborn thoughts.
Like someone said 'to live in the present'.
Life is fleeting and I still have so much to read, to learn and to do.
Must make good use of my time and not spent it in feeling moody.
Who cares after all...nobody but myself.
Sigh.
Thursday 7 July 2016
Its not my day today
I went to work as usual.
On the way to office, met a few colleagues who greeted each other - quite a 'touching scene' tough.
Work throughout the morning was uneventful. Somehow I feel moody. Just want to be alone at lunch break.
I got what I wanted - being alone at lunch break.
Walked to nearby eatery to pack my lunch. Met a few other colleagues there but only one of them acknowledged me ! Quite a 'sad scene' as compared to this morning.
My mood was a bit stirred by this happening. Why some people have double standards.
Why??
Back to working in the afternoon - felt a bit bored going through some docs and don't know where to start my project.
My junior still not back from lunch after 2.15pm. Started to text her and she said 'on the way'.
She appeared 15 mins later. (was pissed off with her for not saying she will be back late from lunch - this is not the first time). Uuughh.
Just after 5.30pm, quite a number of emails started to 'swim in'. Replied to some of it.
A few emails was from my boss and one of it was the project he passed to me - he wants me to get it done before end July,
Wow feel like quite a tight deadline (and I am feeling stressed out) as I am still hunting for information.
The colleague who said will pass me the info (since few weeks ago) had not done so. What a heck!
Left office 15 mins after the official knock-off hour.
While eating dinner (packed dinner) with my mum, she asked if I want to eat the 'lor bak' which she cooked last night meant for breakfast this morning.
I said 'no' since my meal has quite a bit of meat but was feeling 'boiling' inside.
The 'lor bak' was meant as breakfast for my bro to eat with steamed buns (that's what I told my mum to cook one of these days as I am tired of eating rice or noodles during meal times).
She has cooked this dish for my bro and not me! I am pissed off - fuming away...feeling like throwing my balance food (dinner) away.
Zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Its really not my day today!
On the way to office, met a few colleagues who greeted each other - quite a 'touching scene' tough.
Work throughout the morning was uneventful. Somehow I feel moody. Just want to be alone at lunch break.
I got what I wanted - being alone at lunch break.
Walked to nearby eatery to pack my lunch. Met a few other colleagues there but only one of them acknowledged me ! Quite a 'sad scene' as compared to this morning.
My mood was a bit stirred by this happening. Why some people have double standards.
Why??
Back to working in the afternoon - felt a bit bored going through some docs and don't know where to start my project.
My junior still not back from lunch after 2.15pm. Started to text her and she said 'on the way'.
She appeared 15 mins later. (was pissed off with her for not saying she will be back late from lunch - this is not the first time). Uuughh.
Just after 5.30pm, quite a number of emails started to 'swim in'. Replied to some of it.
A few emails was from my boss and one of it was the project he passed to me - he wants me to get it done before end July,
Wow feel like quite a tight deadline (and I am feeling stressed out) as I am still hunting for information.
The colleague who said will pass me the info (since few weeks ago) had not done so. What a heck!
Left office 15 mins after the official knock-off hour.
While eating dinner (packed dinner) with my mum, she asked if I want to eat the 'lor bak' which she cooked last night meant for breakfast this morning.
I said 'no' since my meal has quite a bit of meat but was feeling 'boiling' inside.
The 'lor bak' was meant as breakfast for my bro to eat with steamed buns (that's what I told my mum to cook one of these days as I am tired of eating rice or noodles during meal times).
She has cooked this dish for my bro and not me! I am pissed off - fuming away...feeling like throwing my balance food (dinner) away.
Zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Its really not my day today!
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