In my mind, I am always trying to go against my mum - I don't know why lately I have been like this.
I kept thinking of what she has been doing; how she has treated me; how she treated my siblings.
I find that whenever they are around; I would be neglected by her and I would feel a sense of anger and frustration and jealousy inside me.
Ya, its been many years ago since she started to show favouritism among us, the children.
Sometimes, at the dinner table, she will scoop soup for her favourite son but not me. I do not remember once that she has scoop soup for me. I feel hurt inside my heart. Sigh !
To be honest, I have been treating her nicely and I think she has been taking me for granted.
I am not happy you know but what to do.
Just do not know why lately I have been thinking of all her 'shortcomings' and I just feel kind of - do not know how to describe my feelings; and just wondering how come she has to be my mum.
If I have been born to another family; my life may be different from now - it could be better - who knows ? or maybe worse ?
At this point, I always envy a few of my friends whose parents had already passed away some years ago and they are living on their own. Just imagine how free they are - can do anything they like. Unlike me, I still have to 'report' to my mum at home whenever I go out.
Sometimes, after a hard day work, I do not feel like eating dinner. I just wish I could lie down on bed and rest; but with my mum around, I just couldn't have this 'simple pleasure'. No matter how exhausted I am, I have to eat dinner.....sigh.
How I wish I could move out and live on my own - I can afford it financially but as long as my mum is around, she will stay with me because she can't stay with her married sons and they do not want her to stay with them, and the fact that I am still single.
I think if I get married now, she will also 'stick' to me......
Just hoping that I will not feel 'miserable' with her around me.
Sometimes, after a hard day work, I do not feel like eating dinner. I just wish I could lie down on bed and rest; but with my mum around, I just couldn't have this 'simple pleasure'. No matter how exhausted I am, I have to eat dinner.....sigh.
How I wish I could move out and live on my own - I can afford it financially but as long as my mum is around, she will stay with me because she can't stay with her married sons and they do not want her to stay with them, and the fact that I am still single.
I think if I get married now, she will also 'stick' to me......
Just hoping that I will not feel 'miserable' with her around me.
