After thoughts...

I have plenty of after thoughts, especially after an incident that happened today.

You know - those people around me (whether they are my siblings, in-laws, my relatives and even colleagues) are up to no good (do not mean that I am good enough) as I felt that they are always taking advantage of me - be it money be it favours or just some little help. After they have gotten their 'wants', they would treat me like invisible or just simply ignore my presence around them !

What do you think if it happens on you - you will be hopping mad; you will be angry or you will feel 'indignant' inside your heart and even regretted that you had helped them before - yah that's how I felt ! I don't think I am being petty or expect them to return me the favours I have done to them. I never ask anything from them except that they should be appreciative of what I have done for them and not forgotten about me when they are in 'good health'.

WHAT do these people take me for ? a 'goon-do' or just because I kept quiet then they start to so called 'bully me'.  Maybe to them, its no big deal but I am a emotional person and that may be the reason why I felt it that way.

Tell you what ... I am getting sick of these people - really sick and especially when these people happen to be your so called family members - you will feel hurt and upset. (You just have to let go if not how). They really cannot be depended upon when you need them need their help. Its best that you can just depend on yourself.

Yah, I have told myself many many times - to be positive - to 'close one eye' - just do not bother with what they do but I can't control my emotions.  SIGH..........

Now, I will side-track a bit :
I had a dream last night - guess what's is it ?  I dreamt that I am getting married to an aquaintance and the best part of it is that WE ARE SO MANY YEARS IN DIFFERENCE and in real life its really impossible that the 2 of us will be together.
Just wondering if this aquaintance has the same dream as me... HA HA.

Stressss

Of late, me is not feeling happy at work because of some work stress and also of  one person (enemy).

I have this one 'enemy' at work - it just irritates me whenever I hear its voice and it appearing in front of me. Not sure why am I like this ? I just felt that the 2 of us are always at 'loggerheads' (emotionally) - dun know how its feelings ?

Perhaps I am too sensitive to whatevever it does or says or acts.  I can't control it anyway - why made myself upset over it and it will take a few days for me to let go.  Am I still clinging to the old incident between us ? or because I felt being 'slammed' by its actions.

Ya, why should I bother about everything it does; why can't I make peace with itself or myself ?

..............sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............

I have contemplated about resigning from work to avoid it - but am I silly just to resign to run away from it when it has no more concerns about me ?  and I will be sacrificing my current job for nothing.  I just feel that if, if I resign, I wouldn't be able to get the pay I get now from elsewhere - as I have been in this comfort zone for too long (I guess) - HOW ?

Yes, I can't - must not quit on IMPULSE as I need to 'put food on the table' for my family ! that's how !

Come on relax lah, ok ? Ya Yes Yes Yes YES !