Sometimes I feel that I suck or other people think I suck.
(Yes, I am supposed to stay positive, be positive, be confident etc.)
Well, the incident happened yesterday made me felt that I suck. Firstly, I felt that my boss always treat my colleagues better than me. Whatever job he asked me to do; I will get it done as fast as I can and as best as I can; but I think he is still not pleased with me because he hardly smile at me though I noticed he is always smiling to the others (I meant my other colleagues). This has made me feel suck. Not sure if I am feeling sensitive towards his attitude. But one thing is for sure - he treats 'that one colleague' better than me. The 2 of them really clicked - 'mei ci do you shuo you xiao'. That made me felt like a stranger in their eyes !
Maybe I didn't look more pleasant or can sweet talk than my colleagues but still he shouldn't be treating me this way - I really felt suck inside my heart. I am just my natural self - no pretends no licking boots. Perhaps he wish me to do so but then the other people (colleagues) are not doing that either but they get better treatment from him than I do.
The second incident that happened yesterday was that the colleague whom I was close to has also made me feel suck. She has come to know about so many things which happened to our colleague, in the office and yet she she didn't share it with me and that made feel so ignorant or so aloof. I just felt that I always share with her whatever I know but felt that she takes me as a 'fool' or a person who has no feelings or DO I LOOK UNINTERESTED TO HER? I am so disappointed with what she has done to me though she may not realise that I am upset with it. I know I should not feel this way but I just couldn't help it. Maybe I am just too sensitive.
Come-on man, forgive and forget ok ? I cannot control what others do or say but I should be able to control my own emotions...
I shouldn't bother so much about what other people think of me or do to me as long as I am 'standing tall'; as long as I didn't do them wrong; right ?
RIGHT MAN ! Bingoooooo
