Me - a very sensitive person. Why I am not like that ?
Sensitive about things about people ..sometimes I hate myself for being like that.
Ya, shouldn't hate myself.
I just can't control my thinking or rather my sensitive emotions. Things would be different if I am not a sensitive (I mean not too sensitve) being.
We usually have gifts exchange during Christmas time and I found out I got the least and smaller gifts than the others. Why ? Why must I focus on this ? Isn't that coming out from my 'sensitivity'. Sigh...
I felt pathetic and I thought I am a 'loser'. So what ?
No point being pathetic or feeling 'short changed'. This is life. If people like you they will give you the nicest present. Same go for me. If I treat that person nicer, would buy him/her a better present. Think its the same for everyone, maybe not.
I always told myself : do not compare with each other : REN BI REN QI SHI REN !
Ever heard of this Chinese proverb ?
I just can't stop myself from feeling sensitive to feeling 'oust out'. ????
Am I an easy target to be treated in this way ?
I always thought I am nice to everyone though I may not be nice to the one who 'ill treat' me.
There is one good example in my workplace.
When this colleague was new, let's call this colleague as 'Y'.
'Y' will always talk to me as though I am the only colleague there. But things started to change when there are a few new colleagues in the office. Within a short period, they have become 'good friends'; eating breakfast and lunch together. It makes me want to 'puke' and before I know what happens next: 'Y' had somehow 'moved away' from my 'sight' and we were like 'strangers' We now only talk about 'work'. You know ' WORK' and nothing else. It made me felt that I have been too kind to 'Y' in the past and now 'Y' has many 'good friends' around, I have been forgotten somehow.
Sad to say this and of course you know how I am feeling and there is also some mixture of 'sensitivty' in it. Otherwise I would not have thinking of this matter every now and then or when I am alone.
Enough talking of all these unhappy things.
MERRY CHRISTMAS BLESSED CHRISTIMAS to all who have read this blog.
Till then, stay well. Me too.
