Of late, I am back to my 'bad habit' again. Every time when I am in this 'bad habit', I will tell myself again and again that this will be the last time and will not do it again but just cannot control myself and did it again and again just like a drug addict craving for his drugs.
Sometimes I would think of myself as a jerk, a bad jerk, a disgusting jerk who never keep his words especially in this case of 'bad habit'.
Whenever I am not in a good mood and feel stress out, I will do it for days and then stop and then do it again. Well, I have never tell anyone about my 'bad habit'. Anyway, its not a nice thing to tell.
I always feel regretted for what I have done but I have not changed so far; have not abandon this 'bad habit'.
I did it again today and hope today will be the real last time I do it and not anymore.
Wish I will be determined to do so, to stop this 'bad habit' from spreading. Must have self control though its easier said than done.
I wish myself success to kick away - to throw away this 'bad habit'.
Sigh....maybe I should say cheers ...
Monday 18 June 2012
Wednesday 13 June 2012
My Sweet Angel....
Having been thinking of my sweet angel of late...........well have managed to stop thinking of her for quite some time and thought that is the end of my day dreaming but it happens again.
I have a pending chance to meet her again in about a month's time. Have been thinking whether to meet her or not. At first thought of abandoning the chance but later on told myself that I should take up this chance since I have been waiting a long time for this day to come - to see her again though the meeting may be a very brief one
Yes, I have been waiting for this 'meeting' for a 'long long time' and I should bravely go and face her (since I am thinking/dreaming of her day and night for a stretch of time).
I don't know why but I just can't stop thinking of her - every now and then especially when I feel lonely I will just do that (memorising her sweet voice with warmness though I can't really remember her looks - not sure why I just can't remember how she looks like).
I know its not good to have that kind of 'longing' but I just can't help it - I can't control my emotions.
I felt bad sometimes.
I have a pending chance to meet her again in about a month's time. Have been thinking whether to meet her or not. At first thought of abandoning the chance but later on told myself that I should take up this chance since I have been waiting a long time for this day to come - to see her again though the meeting may be a very brief one
Yes, I have been waiting for this 'meeting' for a 'long long time' and I should bravely go and face her (since I am thinking/dreaming of her day and night for a stretch of time).
I don't know why but I just can't stop thinking of her - every now and then especially when I feel lonely I will just do that (memorising her sweet voice with warmness though I can't really remember her looks - not sure why I just can't remember how she looks like).
I know its not good to have that kind of 'longing' but I just can't help it - I can't control my emotions.
I felt bad sometimes.
Going to the movie...
Brought my 2 nieces (age 8 and 10) to watch movie this afternoon. It seemed the timing was not right - one of them is keen to go and the other don't feel like going. In the end, managed to bring them all out including their grandma and the helper.
After the show, we met up with our middle aged close relative and had some snacks together in a fast food chain.
After that, as we are doing window-shopping; my nieces, one after another hurried us to go home and they showed us their 'black face'.
Well, I didn't said much to them about their ill manner but inside my heart, I told myself : this may be the last time I brought them out. Today they have spoilt my mood and day. Here I am trying to treat them to a movie and this is what I got. I didn't enjoy myself afterall.
In future, I better go for movie on my own - alone - can enjoy the show more. Yes, I have tried it before about a year ago at my this age ! (Should have tried and done it many many years ago).
I found these 2 little rascals are getting rude and ruder not only to the helper, to their grandma and also to me. Perhaps I guessed it got much to do with their upbringing; I guess their parents seldom teach them the way of life. They were not at all home most of the time (out to work and sometimes stay out late) and left the kids with the helper ! (Sigh).
After the show, we met up with our middle aged close relative and had some snacks together in a fast food chain.
After that, as we are doing window-shopping; my nieces, one after another hurried us to go home and they showed us their 'black face'.
Well, I didn't said much to them about their ill manner but inside my heart, I told myself : this may be the last time I brought them out. Today they have spoilt my mood and day. Here I am trying to treat them to a movie and this is what I got. I didn't enjoy myself afterall.
In future, I better go for movie on my own - alone - can enjoy the show more. Yes, I have tried it before about a year ago at my this age ! (Should have tried and done it many many years ago).
I found these 2 little rascals are getting rude and ruder not only to the helper, to their grandma and also to me. Perhaps I guessed it got much to do with their upbringing; I guess their parents seldom teach them the way of life. They were not at all home most of the time (out to work and sometimes stay out late) and left the kids with the helper ! (Sigh).
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