My niece and her Grandma

I scolded my youngest niece (the most 'headache' one) again last evening - really cannot 'ta-han' her attitude.

Felt that she is just too lazy to study and do homework - always watch TV and playing.  She is v. stubborn too.

Well, after a 'hard lashing', I felt very 'hot' and when simmered down, I felt that I have been too harsh to her - a 8 yr old!  Really don't know what to do with her - doesn't want to do her homework but wants to play computer.  That's what puts me 'throwing the pan off'.

Then, there's my mum - sometimes also v. stubborn.  Sometimes I find that she is double-standard when she treats her D-I-Ls.  I have to 'close one eye' at times.  Not sure what's wrong with her, still cannot forgive the younger D-I-L ?  Its been so many years !!!  Still cannot let go. SIGH.

Just imagine a 70s+ grandma - still behave like a child - sometime so nice and sometime so petty and a little unreasonable.  Is that my mum ?  Cannot imagine her saying some 'crude' words behind her DIL's back =-0
Me - her child - also feel bad about what she said - how come she's like that ?
No matter what - I still feel that she is biased !  I would not like to judge her but can't help it..... I am just a human bean.

You know something - I had a bad dream about her last nite - vividly remembered the worst thing she could have done.  Goodness me, its just a dream !

I don't know why, why my family members are all one of many kinds.   Only if I could chose my family members ;-)  Am I selfish to say that ? or am I crazy ?

How nice it would be if everyone in my family can get along well with each other and have more bonding time together.  Wonder if any of my siblings or family members have ever come across this thought ?

Yea, THIS IS LIFE - its made up of many beautiful and ugly things, simple and complex things, happy and unhappy events and so on and so forth...............

At this point of time, I really envy one of my friends who is staying alone (her parents has passed on and she is single). Her living is so carefree - no one to stand in her way - she can sleep whole day for who cares or she could just travels as and when she is free.  Enough of saying - perhaps she is lonely - who knows ? right ?

Some 'feelings'

Some feelings (what's the appropriate phrase to use ? it just didn't popped up in my brain).

Have not been writing on my blog for about a month.

I was in hospital early this week for some health problems - at last it was 'settled' through minor surgery and the 'big stone' dropped off from my chest smoothly.  What a relief !  God has been kind very kind to me though I have not been doing my part well enough.  I also have this close friend in church who really encouraged and gave me emotional support when I needed it.
Praise The Lord !

On the night before I went to hospital, I was unhappy with my S-I-L who told my mum that she could fetch me but not long later she changed her mind and asked my bro to fetch me (as told by the helper).  Ya, I know, I am just the least important person in her life.  Her friends are her 'everything'. I asked myself - I have been treating quite well and she just can't do me this little favour (its my mum who asked her to fetch me to hospital). I am 'pissed' off - you know !
Well at least I know inside my heart who is good or bad to me - yes I knew it.

I personally do not like to owe people favours - hardly asked people (be it my family members, my friends, my colleagues) for favours.

I know - most of my family members are very 'xian shi'.  To put it in another way, most of the times they only call me when they need financial help from me - I am their 'gold mine'. I just can't get along with my siblings My siblings and I - we hardly talk, don't get along well so we are not that close - so sad, right ?  I only talked to my close friend when I am feeling down or I have problems but not to my siblings, but I do have one sister who treats me nicely. I appreciate her kindness. I really envy my friends who are very close with their siblings.  ENVY!!!

Sigh - I always like to use/say it when life sucks.  LIFE is short - must learn to make myself happy everyday and smile.

(Side-track a bit) I was quite excited this morning because I am going to meet my Sweet Angel in the afternoon.  Today we have some small talks. We get to know each other a little more. She is always so sweet and gentle - I am fond of her but she will never know about my feelings. I would not and dare not tell her. I would only keep it inside my heart.

No imaginations please !