Met up with RC during lunchtime. She is going away for further studies - am happy for her in a way. In my heart, I am wishing her all the best and be successful in her studies and future career.
She is a nice girl - easy going - in her early 20s' - quite mature for her age in the way she talks and carries herself - and looks elegant at times (hmm hmm). Good in her PR too (that's what I feel).
Looking back at my own self when I was her age - what have I done ? Regrettably - nothing much maybe nothing at all (sad right?). (Actually, its different era - think it cannot be compared).
Sigh.. you know (or rather I know) ..(my) life is full of regrets as at this moment.....
Now, back to current: I have not been feeling well for the past 2 weeks - didn't take MCs - struggling with my 'overflowing' workload. Felt like 'collapsing' this afternoon - was feeling a bit unwell but continue to 'slog my head off'. Come to think of it; should have taken some MCs to rest (not sure why I am torturing myself like that). Well, this will get over soon.
Must really take care of myself - have always been telling myself. Nobody will care about you - whether you are sick or what - (your colleagues won't be bother about it; your boss won't be bother about it. )(Put yourself before work but it always turn out the other way round).
Just hoping I could sleep well tonight and recover my health very soon.
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Friday, 8 February 2013
'Boss' at home
I not only have a boss at work but also have a boss at home.
This person really doesn't know where she stands. This person to me is an outsider but staying in my house. I don't like it but it can't be helped. I have my 'difficulties'.
This person always took herself as part of our family and likes to meddle in our home affairs be it as a family or individual. She even want to tell me what to do. She is too much. What a 'pain in the neck'.
How can I be happy or feel free with such a person hovering around my house and around me.
Am just waiting for this person to disappear/ to leave my house. Am waiting for that day to come soon !
This person really doesn't know where she stands. This person to me is an outsider but staying in my house. I don't like it but it can't be helped. I have my 'difficulties'.
This person always took herself as part of our family and likes to meddle in our home affairs be it as a family or individual. She even want to tell me what to do. She is too much. What a 'pain in the neck'.
How can I be happy or feel free with such a person hovering around my house and around me.
Am just waiting for this person to disappear/ to leave my house. Am waiting for that day to come soon !
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
'Work abuse'
Of late, I felt that I am being 'work abuse' by my bosses. Right, there are nice bosses around but there are also the not so nice ones and the selfish ones.
Why do I say that ? This is not the first time this kind of things happened to me. I regret that I didn't stop it from happening in the beginning. Yes, all because I am a 'yes' person - everything also yes, also can (without considering the pros and cons).
In the end, I just stressed up myself (well, I am a very easily 'stressed' person).
What this boss has asked me to do is an 'uneasy and unpleasant' task. It would be much easier if he could do it on his own but he has landed the 'job' on me. I am in a 'complex' situation now.
SIGH !!!
(sorry I can't specify what 'task' is this because there might be people reading my blog and one of them could be my this boss and he would know its me)!
And then there is another boss who would ask me to do things not only for him but also for everyone else - Sigh again but this task is considered easier than the earlier one though its cumbersome and time consuming.
Well, life is not to feel miserable anyway - that's what I read in Arvind's blog.
Must learn to be positive and optimistic - that's what I am lacking in - will bucked up ! YES Man !
Yes, tomorrow will be better :)
Why do I say that ? This is not the first time this kind of things happened to me. I regret that I didn't stop it from happening in the beginning. Yes, all because I am a 'yes' person - everything also yes, also can (without considering the pros and cons).
In the end, I just stressed up myself (well, I am a very easily 'stressed' person).
What this boss has asked me to do is an 'uneasy and unpleasant' task. It would be much easier if he could do it on his own but he has landed the 'job' on me. I am in a 'complex' situation now.
SIGH !!!
(sorry I can't specify what 'task' is this because there might be people reading my blog and one of them could be my this boss and he would know its me)!
And then there is another boss who would ask me to do things not only for him but also for everyone else - Sigh again but this task is considered easier than the earlier one though its cumbersome and time consuming.
Well, life is not to feel miserable anyway - that's what I read in Arvind's blog.
Must learn to be positive and optimistic - that's what I am lacking in - will bucked up ! YES Man !
Yes, tomorrow will be better :)
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
Difference in living
Today is the first day of New Year 2013.
Happy and Wonderful New Year ! (hopefully it will be).
I recalled some of my past year's experiences:
Ever since 'these people' moved into my house; I hardly had a day on my own (that means alone at home). Even on weekends when I was not working and on public holidays when I were at home, it does not feel the same anymore (compared to when I was living with my parents and then alone on my own for a short period).
I have lost my privacy in the house - even when I was in my bedroom alone; 'people' just walked in and out of my room freely - yea, I should have set some house rules in the very beginning when 'these people' moved into my house. Though I am quite an 'easy' person; but still need my privacy. Thinking when AND WHEN would I have my privacy back - that feelings really SUCKS.
Prayed that with the New Year, I would have more happiness, more braveness, more healthiness, more peacefulness, more cheerfulness to live my life...
Happy and Wonderful New Year ! (hopefully it will be).
I recalled some of my past year's experiences:
Ever since 'these people' moved into my house; I hardly had a day on my own (that means alone at home). Even on weekends when I was not working and on public holidays when I were at home, it does not feel the same anymore (compared to when I was living with my parents and then alone on my own for a short period).
I have lost my privacy in the house - even when I was in my bedroom alone; 'people' just walked in and out of my room freely - yea, I should have set some house rules in the very beginning when 'these people' moved into my house. Though I am quite an 'easy' person; but still need my privacy. Thinking when AND WHEN would I have my privacy back - that feelings really SUCKS.
Prayed that with the New Year, I would have more happiness, more braveness, more healthiness, more peacefulness, more cheerfulness to live my life...
Saturday, 22 December 2012
Reflections
Its Christmas time. How time flies...
Remembered someone told me some months ago that she is not going to buy gifts for someone during this Christmas season. I took her words for real because she has valid reasons for doing so.
Until yesterday, then I realised I was wrong...I simply believed her words for it and there she is -giving that someone a gift. I was not angry but 'surprise' and felt that I just take people's words for granted. I just trust her too easily. Felt like I am 'being conned' emotionally.
Human beings may change as and when they like it. So what's something which she had said she would not be doing many months ago and now she is going back on her own words hmm.
Perhaps during these recent months, their friendship has 'increased' without my knowledge. Well I also do not wish to interfere with others' affairs - what they want to do; what they want to say.
The lesson I have learnt: Do not believe 100 percent in what people said (unless that person is v. close to you) - even so, they can change their minds any time they want any time they like.
Do not be other people's 'victim' in any situation. Must be careful !
I just find that I am 'gullible' at most times - remembered someone told me that many years ago and she was the one who has made me 'gullible' to believe in everything she has done. I was full of regrets after that ! I lost my trust in her anyway.
Life is SIMPLE, its just not easy.
Remembered someone told me some months ago that she is not going to buy gifts for someone during this Christmas season. I took her words for real because she has valid reasons for doing so.
Until yesterday, then I realised I was wrong...I simply believed her words for it and there she is -giving that someone a gift. I was not angry but 'surprise' and felt that I just take people's words for granted. I just trust her too easily. Felt like I am 'being conned' emotionally.
Human beings may change as and when they like it. So what's something which she had said she would not be doing many months ago and now she is going back on her own words hmm.
Perhaps during these recent months, their friendship has 'increased' without my knowledge. Well I also do not wish to interfere with others' affairs - what they want to do; what they want to say.
The lesson I have learnt: Do not believe 100 percent in what people said (unless that person is v. close to you) - even so, they can change their minds any time they want any time they like.
Do not be other people's 'victim' in any situation. Must be careful !
I just find that I am 'gullible' at most times - remembered someone told me that many years ago and she was the one who has made me 'gullible' to believe in everything she has done. I was full of regrets after that ! I lost my trust in her anyway.
Life is SIMPLE, its just not easy.
Sunday, 14 October 2012
After thoughts...
I have plenty of after thoughts, especially after an incident that happened today.
You know - those people around me (whether they are my siblings, in-laws, my relatives and even colleagues) are up to no good (do not mean that I am good enough) as I felt that they are always taking advantage of me - be it money be it favours or just some little help. After they have gotten their 'wants', they would treat me like invisible or just simply ignore my presence around them !
What do you think if it happens on you - you will be hopping mad; you will be angry or you will feel 'indignant' inside your heart and even regretted that you had helped them before - yah that's how I felt ! I don't think I am being petty or expect them to return me the favours I have done to them. I never ask anything from them except that they should be appreciative of what I have done for them and not forgotten about me when they are in 'good health'.
WHAT do these people take me for ? a 'goon-do' or just because I kept quiet then they start to so called 'bully me'. Maybe to them, its no big deal but I am a emotional person and that may be the reason why I felt it that way.
Tell you what ... I am getting sick of these people - really sick and especially when these people happen to be your so called family members - you will feel hurt and upset. (You just have to let go if not how). They really cannot be depended upon when you need them need their help. Its best that you can just depend on yourself.
Yah, I have told myself many many times - to be positive - to 'close one eye' - just do not bother with what they do but I can't control my emotions. SIGH..........
Now, I will side-track a bit :
I had a dream last night - guess what's is it ? I dreamt that I am getting married to an aquaintance and the best part of it is that WE ARE SO MANY YEARS IN DIFFERENCE and in real life its really impossible that the 2 of us will be together.
Just wondering if this aquaintance has the same dream as me... HA HA.
You know - those people around me (whether they are my siblings, in-laws, my relatives and even colleagues) are up to no good (do not mean that I am good enough) as I felt that they are always taking advantage of me - be it money be it favours or just some little help. After they have gotten their 'wants', they would treat me like invisible or just simply ignore my presence around them !
What do you think if it happens on you - you will be hopping mad; you will be angry or you will feel 'indignant' inside your heart and even regretted that you had helped them before - yah that's how I felt ! I don't think I am being petty or expect them to return me the favours I have done to them. I never ask anything from them except that they should be appreciative of what I have done for them and not forgotten about me when they are in 'good health'.
WHAT do these people take me for ? a 'goon-do' or just because I kept quiet then they start to so called 'bully me'. Maybe to them, its no big deal but I am a emotional person and that may be the reason why I felt it that way.
Tell you what ... I am getting sick of these people - really sick and especially when these people happen to be your so called family members - you will feel hurt and upset. (You just have to let go if not how). They really cannot be depended upon when you need them need their help. Its best that you can just depend on yourself.
Yah, I have told myself many many times - to be positive - to 'close one eye' - just do not bother with what they do but I can't control my emotions. SIGH..........
Now, I will side-track a bit :
I had a dream last night - guess what's is it ? I dreamt that I am getting married to an aquaintance and the best part of it is that WE ARE SO MANY YEARS IN DIFFERENCE and in real life its really impossible that the 2 of us will be together.
Just wondering if this aquaintance has the same dream as me... HA HA.
Thursday, 11 October 2012
Stressss
Of late, me is not feeling happy at work because of some work stress and also of one person (enemy).
I have this one 'enemy' at work - it just irritates me whenever I hear its voice and it appearing in front of me. Not sure why am I like this ? I just felt that the 2 of us are always at 'loggerheads' (emotionally) - dun know how its feelings ?
Perhaps I am too sensitive to whatevever it does or says or acts. I can't control it anyway - why made myself upset over it and it will take a few days for me to let go. Am I still clinging to the old incident between us ? or because I felt being 'slammed' by its actions.
Ya, why should I bother about everything it does; why can't I make peace with itself or myself ?
..............sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............
I have contemplated about resigning from work to avoid it - but am I silly just to resign to run away from it when it has no more concerns about me ? and I will be sacrificing my current job for nothing. I just feel that if, if I resign, I wouldn't be able to get the pay I get now from elsewhere - as I have been in this comfort zone for too long (I guess) - HOW ?
Yes, I can't - must not quit on IMPULSE as I need to 'put food on the table' for my family ! that's how !
Come on relax lah, ok ? Ya Yes Yes Yes YES !
I have this one 'enemy' at work - it just irritates me whenever I hear its voice and it appearing in front of me. Not sure why am I like this ? I just felt that the 2 of us are always at 'loggerheads' (emotionally) - dun know how its feelings ?
Perhaps I am too sensitive to whatevever it does or says or acts. I can't control it anyway - why made myself upset over it and it will take a few days for me to let go. Am I still clinging to the old incident between us ? or because I felt being 'slammed' by its actions.
Ya, why should I bother about everything it does; why can't I make peace with itself or myself ?
..............sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............
I have contemplated about resigning from work to avoid it - but am I silly just to resign to run away from it when it has no more concerns about me ? and I will be sacrificing my current job for nothing. I just feel that if, if I resign, I wouldn't be able to get the pay I get now from elsewhere - as I have been in this comfort zone for too long (I guess) - HOW ?
Yes, I can't - must not quit on IMPULSE as I need to 'put food on the table' for my family ! that's how !
Come on relax lah, ok ? Ya Yes Yes Yes YES !
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