Thought of the Moment: "We will always be exposed to people who purposefully or accidentally bring us down. (Ben Kim).
The above thought is what actually happened to me or rather what I thought people have always done it to me !
Just like today: I have a 'emotional breakdown' in the face of few of my family members.
I think I felt better after this 'breakdown'. I would not like to elaborate on this 'breakdown'.
A lot of thoughts crossed my mind during and immediately after this 'breakdown' including suicide, yes, I meant a soft thought of suicide. I am really afraid that I would lose control of myself. Isn't it SERIOUS. With God's help I am able to sustain it after about a 15-min 'breakdown'. I slowly calm myself down. Thank God !
One of my siblings called me shortly after I have cooled down from this breakdown. It made me feel that there are still people who care about me and thinking of me. Though I did not tell her about my breakdown, I am thankful inside my heart that she had called me.
Perhaps recently (these few months) a lot of things have happened in my workplace. Maybe I am sensitive, I just felt that my colleagues are ignoring me 'purposefully' or 'accidentally'. They practically treated me as 'invisible'. You know I hate it. Why this had not happened to me ?
I am hurt over this. I had a hard time getting over it. Perhaps I am not just sensitive but very sensitive.
I do not know why I have such feelings. By right, I should not be feeling this way. If they are treating me 'this way', the more I should counter-attack them by ignoring them (no see no hear).
SIGH..
The 'breakdown' I had today was a mixed one - family and work related. I knew it myself.
Wishing myself a good recovery from this breakdown. I should not let this happen to me again. Never. Have to learn to be strong and firm and brave whatever it takes.
Right, man !
May God Bless all who are reading this blog.
