Recently, hmm, for the past week, I have been very stressed at work. How I wish that the week will 'fly' by and be gone !
Its because I have a few 'unhappy encounters' at work. Actually at the end of the day, come to think of it; its nothing very serious though I have had a 'hard time' living through the week.
One of the 'encounters or rather incident' was that I have caused some misunderstanding between my boss and myself when I was the 'middle-man' and in the end I was being 'soft reprimanded' for being 'not thoughtful' enough by my boss.
Well in a time like this, I could only keep quiet and not said anything when I felt I was 'yuan wan'. I know it the more I try to explain myself the more it would become 'messy'. If, I meant if my colleague (the 'culprit') was more careful in the beginning of the 'episode' I would not have became her 'scape goat'. I was upset though.
I am not sure if she realised her 'unthoughtfulness' when my boss 'reprimanded' me when she was just around me. Hope that she won't repeat the same mistake again, or rather landed me in another 'spot' when I am not alert enough.
Second thing, was also because of something she said to me that 'upset' me though. Think I was 'sensitive' at that time. She meant it no harm but I took it as 'personal' and it was just a small matter afterall.
Actually all the above 'happenings' could be prevented if I am more alert and more confident of myself.
Come to think of it, I have lived through a few decades and yet sometimes I am so 'immature' in a way.
Yes, I could have done better and be best in all I do and not 'hovering over' all these 'small matters' in life. I should also not recall the unhappy incidents which happened to me in my workplace.
So what if I have felt hurt and inferior during these incidents. Why should I felt hurt or moo moo when the boss wanted to be nice to my colleague and not me ? Why I just can't take it 'easy'.
Its his decision who he wanted to be nice to. I know I can't control what he wants to do and what to say.
Well, I just felt that I am being 'ill-treated'. That's all. I have done so much things for him and that's what I get in theeee end. Just take it that he is being partial. No need to be upset over these things when the 2 of them get along so well with me realising it too late ! SIGH.
Yes, the above incident was kind of 'shock' to me; it was already unhappy incidents to me and why I still recall it and let it replay at the back of my brain. Its damn sickening - you know ?
I have better things to do and why waste so much and effort on all these 'menial stuff' ?
Sure, I am not someone who could do 'small things'. I should be able to do 'big projects' too. Right, man. YOU are right !
I must be happy, be lovable, be wonderful no matter what, okay? YES I will 'just do it'.
I must be nice to myself. I must not allow myself to feel upset again when people treat me as invisible or whatever. I must not allow it to happen again. REMEMBER ok.
