Relative's problems; my problems ?

My close relative wanted to get a loan from me again; just slightly more than a month ago than the previous time.

Sure, I was annoyed and ignored her sms. Two days later, she text me to ask if I receive her earlier text.
I replied to her quite unpleasantly but agreed to lend her the money provided she really return me. (I am soft hearted in a sense). She said she and her family has BIG problems and they are going to sell their flat !

She mentioned she will return me the loan after the transaction and really appreciated my help.
Hope that she is sincere in saying those words and not just empty promises. (Actually all along I have not really believed in the stories she told me why she needed money BUT I still lend to her). SIGH ..

At home, my 'in-house' relative also has financial problems - why so many problems - though not my problems directly but they really weigh me down; disturb my emotions; feeling down.....like tonight I really feel very moo moo.  Sigh - why do I have so many of this kind of relatives - always broke - always owing ppl money ! why ?

Really 'peck-chieck'.

Back to my own self; have been thinking of my sweet angel again - just can't forget her as hard as I tried. Whenever I passed by her office building; I wish I could bump into her but I didn't. Am I crazy ?

Have also been thinking alot of the past (my life in 1-2 decades ago) - how I have let go lots of 'golden' opportunities - how I just let the chances slipped away -  really have lots of regrets and thoughts ! Why again ?  How much I wish time could be turned backwards and I could have those chances; opportunities again and I would have cling to them and hug them !

Me really really reg_ _ _ .  Wish to get over all these past events and start life afresh. :-)