Unforgettable

 Felt that my  “BFF” has changed her attitude towards me over these many months, almost a year from our last ‘eventful’ trip together.

She didn’t apologise which I think she would not as she AI MIEN ZI. I know that.

I just pretend nothing happened though my mind is in an “emotional whirlpool”.

I kept thinking or rather that unhappy incident kept flashing in my mind for many months.

I was the innocent party in this incident but she won’t let me explain.

Two weeks ago, she bought me a quick lunch 2 days before my birthday and we didn’t talked much during the lunch. (*)

I did not feel “secured” during the lunch.  

Immediately after we finished the lunch, she rushed back to office while I did some window shopping on my own.

She needed to go back office quickly to set up for some meeting.

(*) Since few years ago, we used to lunch together on a regular weekly basis until on my last year’s birthday lunch, she pointed out to me that she’s always the one talking and most times I just kept quiet.

I think she wanted to say she was talking to “the wall” maybe.

It’s not that I do not want to talk but I am just an introvert not knowing how to express myself.

After that lunch, we stopped going lunch together.

She should have been more understanding towards me.  We have had lunch together for a few years already.

I am upset that she misunderstood me but I kept quiet.

Lately I felt that she is ‘cold’ towards me, just like this afternoon we bumped into each other in the pantry and we just say hello.

Unlike previously she will make small talk.

I can feel that I am emotional towards her though she may have “given up” on me.

It’s because right in the beginning I have put in too much affections into our friendship thinking we would be “forever” friends like what J always thought we were.

I know she can very  绝 one but I am the one still hoping things would get better but chances are very Low.

Sigh...

I must learn to let go.  I have been dragging on for too Long.

To be honest, in the early part of our friendship, she treated me very nice and I was touched.

Ya, I was nice to her too.

I always treated her as a priority, only to find out later on that I am just one of her options.  Sad :(

Somehow along the way over the past few years, things happened. She was unhappy and told me off over some minor matters which I just let her be. I just don’t want to make things worse if I argue.

Only she can talk when she is pissed off...no one else can...maybe her BFF can.